Monologues for Girls

You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown

Sally Brown 

A ‘C’? A ‘C’? I got a ‘C’ on my coathanger sculpture? How could anyone get a ‘C’ in coathanger sculpture? May I ask a question? Was I judged on the piece of sculpture itself? If so, is it not true that time alone can judge a work of art? Or was I judged on my talent? If so, is it fair that I be judged on a part of my life over which I have no control? If I was judged on my effort, then I was judged unfairly, for I tried as hard as I could! Was I judged on what I had learned about this project? If so, then were not you, my teacher, also being judged on your ability to transmit your knowledge to me? Are you willing to share my ‘C’? Perhaps I was being judged on the quality of coathanger itself out of which my creation was made…now is this not also unfair? Am I to be judged by the quality of coathangers that are used by the drycleaning establishment that returns our garments? Is that not the responsibility of my parents? Should they not share my ‘C’?

Shel Silverstein – Poem from Where the Sidewalk Ends
I cannot go to school today,
I have the measles and the mumps,
A gash, a rash and purple bumps.
My mouth is wet, my throat is dry,
I’m going blind in my right eye.
My tonsils are as big as rocks,
I’ve counted sixteen chicken pox
And there’s one more—that’s seventeen,
And don’t you think my face looks green?
My leg is cut—my eyes are blue—
It might be instamatic flu.
I cough and sneeze and gasp and choke,
I’m sure that my left leg is broke—
My hip hurts when I move my chin,
My belly button’s caving in,
My back is wrenched, my ankle’s sprained,
My ‘pendix pains each time it rains.
My nose is cold, my toes are numb.
I have a sliver in my thumb.
My neck is stiff, my voice is weak,
I hardly whisper when I speak.
My tongue is filling up my mouth,
I think my hair is falling out.
My elbow’s bent, my spine ain’t straight,
My temperature is one-o-eight.
My brain is shrunk, I cannot hear,
There is a hole inside my ear.
I have a hangnail, and my heart is—what?
What’s that? What’s that you say?
You say today is. . .Saturday?
G’bye, I’m going out to play!

Matilda: The Musical
Lavender
Hello. I’m Lavender, by the way. Matilda’s best friend! There’s a bit coming up that’s all about – me! Well, not ALL about me. But I play a big part in it. But I’m not going to say what happens, because I don’t want to spoil it for you.
[She starts walking off the stage with the microphone, then stops]
All right. Look. What I do is I volunteer to give the Trunchbull a jug of water. And on the way back… No! I don’t want to tell you anymore because I don’t want to ruin it!
[She walks completely off stage. After a moment, she runs back on]
Well . . . On the way back, I find a newt. A newt is like a really ugly lizard that lives in water. And so I pick it up and . . . No! I’m not saying any more!
[She raises her fists and growls, then huffs off. Before she can make it off stage, she turns around]
I’m going to put the newt in the Trunchbull’s jug! It’s going to be brilliant!
[She runs offstage with the microphone for the final time]

Alice in Wonderland
Alice
ALICE: [Angrily] Why, how impolite of him. I asked him a civil question, and he pretended not to hear me. That’s not at all nice. [Calling after him] I say, Mr. White Rabbit, where are you going? Hmmm. He won’t answer me. And I do so want to know what he is late for. I wonder if I might follow him. Why not? There’s no rule that I mayn’t go where I please. I–I will follow him. Wait for me, Mr. White Rabbit. I’m coming, too! [Falling] How curious. I never realized that rabbit holes were so dark . . . and so long . . . and so empty. I believe I have been falling for five minutes, and I still can’t see the bottom! Hmph! After such a fall as this, I shall think nothing of tumbling downstairs. How brave they’ll all think me at home. Why, I wouldn’t say anything about it even if I fell off the top of the house! I wonder how many miles I’ve fallen by this time. I must be getting somewhere near the center of the earth. I wonder if I shall fall right through the earth! How funny that would be. Oh, I think I see the bottom. Yes, I’m sure I see the bottom. I shall hit the bottom, hit it very hard, and oh, how it will hurt!

You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown
Lucy
Now Linus, I want you to take a good look at Charlie Brown’s face. Would you please hold still a minute, Charlie Brown, I want Linus to study your face. Now, this is what you
call a Failure Face, Linus. Notice how it has failure written all over it. Study it carefully,
Linus. You rarely see such a good example. Notice the deep lines, the dull, vacant look in the eyes. Yes, I would say this is one of the finest examples of a Failure Face that you’re liable to see for a long while.

You’re a Good Man Charlie Brown
Lucy
Do you know what I intend? I intend to be a queen. When I grow up I’m going to be
the biggest queen there ever was, and I’ll live in a big palace and when I go out in my coach, all the people will wave and I will shout at them, and…and…in the summertime I will go to my summer palace and I’ll wear my crown in swimming and everything, and all the people will cheer and I will shout at them… What do you mean I can’t be queen? Nobody should be kept from being a queen if she wants to be one. It’s usually just a matter of knowing the right people.. ..well…. if I can’t be a queen, then I’ll be very rich then I will buy myself a queendom. Yes, I will buy myself a queendom and then I’ll kick out the old queen and take over the whole operation myself. I will be head queen.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Violet
I’m a gum chewer, normally, but when I heard about Wonka’s contest, I laid off the gum and switched to candy bars. Now of course, I’m right back on gum. In fact, I’ve been
working on this piece for over three months solid. I’ve beaten the record set by my best friend, Cornelia Prinzmetel. Hi, Cornelia…listen to this… [Violet chews loudly into the microphone] That’s the sound of you losing! Listen some more… [Violet chews even more loudly adding smacks and pops]